Thoughts on Words

Time: 20:40PM
Location: Air France Lounge, SFO International Airport

Is simplicity in description a failing of language, or writing skill? Or is it a revolution?

I don’t know very many languages, and I know nothing with the level of proficiency that I do English. But this Sunday I’ve started to wonder what is it with English and its simplicity.

Love. Hurt. Feeling. Trust.

These things exist on a spectrum, yet it seems the best way to specify to what degree someone is/is not feeling, loving, hurting, trusting is by pouring liters of context into blank space. Broad brush strokes spilling situations in a fury of run-on sentences, letting readers interpret the situation, hoping in the process to find the resolve to decide how much of the experience, and in what way, you want to internalize it all.

Robert Carver, Sylvia Platt, Ernest Hemingway. They understood that actions spoke louder than words and wrote libraries full of timeless tales of love and hurt, with vivid characters and succinct imagery. Saying one is in love. Saying one is hurt. Saying one trusts or does not trust means nothing without follow through. There is no need to specify the type of love, like in Japanese (daisuke, aishiteru, koi shiteru yo, suki da yo). The spectrum and degree of any of these things like love is best explained in context; in the act of loving, trusting, hurting, feeling.

But Brene Brown, Eckhart Tolle. They understand the role explicit honesty plays in effective communication. The only way to build a relationship — romantic, friendship, personal introspection — is through clear definitions, and honestly stating then abiding by the fundamental values that you hold in your heart.

So how do you do both?

I’m going to clean up before this flight so this post will end here. No resolution. Just a realization that being an open book, being forward, being willing to trust people first then leave once they prove you wrong, do not make you impervious to the insecurity of being betrayed.

The root of this I have yet to unpack in myself. But acknowledging that I am having a hard time trusting people has made my decision to be resolutely alone when I know deep down I do want a deeper connection, a bit easier.

There’s a reason I’m like this and it doesn’t need fixing.

But I want to understand.